Posted by
Paul Wamack on Friday, May 30, 2008 7:43:29 AM
Call me crazy -- many people do. I don't mind. But I keep having a nagging thought. I don't have any evidence to support it, but that's the fun of conspiracies. I love a good conspiracy theory. I used to have a book filled with them, from the whereabouts of D B Cooper to the secret government base on the dark side of the moon. I just loved it. I didn't believe it. The government can't keep a secret. But I just loved it all the same. It's always something along the line between fiction and non-fiction, with just enough realism to keep my interest piqued.
So I would like to propose a new conspiracy theory. Unlike Hillary's conspiracy theory, mine is a vast left-wing conspiracy. And why not? There is more money in the accounts of ideologically-motivated liberal kooks than my mind can comprehend. It's a dirty little secret that tons of rich people are liberal Democrats -- no matter what the public perceptions say. It has long been obvious to me that money doesn't care who owns it.
But let's get on to my conspiracy theory: For some years, I have seen graphs showing that the popularity of the current President is inversely related to the price of gasoline. That is to say, when the cost of a gallon of gasoline goes up at the pump, the approval rating of the President goes down, and when gas prices go down, Presidential approval ratings go up. The two graphs are very much the same, just upside down from each other.
So if you were to have unlimited, or at least massive, resources at your disposal and you wanted to affect a Presidential campaign, wouldn't running up the price of gasoline at the pump depress the popularity of the sitting President? Hmmm. So let's see. It would take a lot of money to intentional affect the world market price for crude oil, but I already conceded that in my original premise. There would also be a lot of logistical issues, like where to store it undetected, but the media in this country isn't going to try too hard to uncover something that is damaging to Republicans. Then, there is the issue that George Bush isn't running for re-election. But no one would suspect that from the media coverage, and the perceived goal of my would-be conspiracy is simply to have the White House change hands from one political party to the other, without getting into the specifics by name.
That this spike in crude oil prices is causing food riots in other parts of the world is a small price to pay to forward a liberal agenda for a few years. When did an elitist liberal ever care about the poor of the world, the starving peasants, the huddled masses? But there really isn't any worry about liberalism during the next four years -- no matter which of the three candidates gets elected, we shall see liberalism move forward for the next four years. The only question in November is not going to be whether liberalism moves forward, but at what pace?
So that's my theory; dark, sinister forces are manipulating the world market price of crude oil in an attempt to influence the Presidential election in November. After a Democrat President is seated in January, the price will drop and the new President will enjoy soaring popularity. There is no evidence to support this theory, but that has never stopped a conspiracy theory before. Believe it if you want, or you may choose to believe that the timing of these two events (the election year politics and the run-up of gas prices beyond what normal market forces would suggest) just happened to coincide.
Just a coincidence? You decide.